Cathy Condensed!

Boogie Woogie Film Review

I attended the world premiere of the film 'Boogie Woogie' last night at the Edinburgh Film Festival.  It sounds a lot more glamorous than it was, there was no red carpet, press or free popcorn, but some of the cast and crew attended.

The movie was nothing like I expected, it was  really enjoyable and entertaining! I went with 2 other Gillian Anderson fans and we were all expecting a really arty, obscure, sex filled, bizarre film, but it was nothing like that! It was very funny and clever and although there is some nudity (none of it Gillian's!) it didn't feel exploitative.

Gillian has loads of screen time, she is a major character. She has a cute English accent and the character she plays is really different to what I expected. Although she is a snob in the art world, she actually plays a really naive, confused woman! It is all played for laughs, you don't have that much sympathy for the character (although I had some), but it is a really different character from those she has played in the past.

Although I obviously focused primarily on Gillian's performance, kudos must go to Alan Cumming who I thought was really wonderful in the movie.  His performance really gave the film an emotional heart.  

I have no idea why it has taken so long to get this film distributed, it is highly enjoyable and much better than lots of the junk at the cinema.  If you are a Gillian fan, she has some priceless scenes to look forward to.

There was a Q&A after the film with the director and some of the cast. The director didn't answer any of the questions seriously though so it was difficult to follow!

We sat directly in front of Alan Cumming, we think he must have heard us squeee every time G came on screen, but we agreed that it was a good thing that he sat behind us because we were enthusiastic and talking about how much we liked it afterwards! (Random comment: he was wearing a v cute silver kilt!!)

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As a side note, I'll blog about my trip to the USA soon, but meanwhile here are the pics from Nashville and Dollywood :)

An attempt at explaining......

So I thought I should post, it’s been a while…..a long while!  I know I promised stories of Washington and New York (both of which were awesome – which is my new word by the way!), but I don’t really have the inclination to go back and post about the past at the moment, it seems a bit pointless and anyone that knows me has heard all about it anyway!

Anyone who knows me will also be aware that I am currently in extreme fandom mode!  Gillian Anderson is doing a play in London at the moment and so I going to that a lot, meeting fellow fans and enjoying all the usual nuttiness.  I don’t think I have ever really blogged about why I’m a fan, I think it is just a given if you know me, but I am going to make an attempt to explain it here. now, with the expectation that I will probably fail.

I think firstly, basically, I just am an obsessive person!  I am easily addicted to things – food being the most obvious example (and hence why I don’t drink much and drugs scare the hell out of me!).  If I like something, I embrace it full on!  My ex-therapist (that sounds so American!) actually said that she thought my X-Files obsession was a good thing, it meant I was directing my obsessive tendencies towards something that wasn’t damaging!  Being obsessive can be seen as a negative thing and I don’t think that is necessarily true.  Most leaps in science, in technology and in our understanding of the universe have come about through obsessive minds.  Now I’m not claiming my obsessions are going to produce any positive changes in the world, but I do think that obsession can have positive elements to it and that, as long as you can see that ultimately what you obsess about is not what your life is truly about, it can be harmless, life enhancing and well….fun!

 Admiring Gillian Anderson and TXF has brought so many things into my life.  Because of Gillian I traveled to Edinburgh for a film screening and ended up falling in love with the city and it’s art festival.  Because of TXF I met Kelly and ended up traveling to Canada, which may be the most beautiful country I have visited.  I have friends all over the world, who offer to show me round their hometowns!  There is a connection between fans, even those that have never met.  A fellow fan who’s name I still don’t know recently took a picture of me with Gillian at the stage door and e-mailed it to me.  When I posted it to facebook another fan took the time to try and de-blur it for me and sent me a new improved version ;)  The TXF/Gillian fan community is full of great, intelligent, kind, respectful women who share a passion and a sense of fun.  We freak out together, campaign together, raise money for charity together, help one another and encourage one another to believe in dreams.

But still, why go to a play so many times?  Aren’t I bored?  What do I get out of it?!  I’ve been asked all these things.  Firstly, I am not going that much!  I have tickets to go approximately once a week for the run of the play and I am actually out of the country for 2 weeks in the middle of it! Do I get bored of it?  No, surprisingly I don’t, but not because I am just gazing at Gillian the whole time, but because theatre is continually changing.  You can watch a film a dozen times and it never changes, but theatre does.  I love the tiny changes, the experimentation, the different meanings that you can portray through different tones of voice, posture and body language.  I love how nothing is certain, lines are missed, props fail, beads fall off dresses all over the stage ;), you can never relax in theatre and you can never be sure what’s coming next and when you know a play inside out, you can see all those tiny things, you can catch the changes and I love that! And what do I get out of it?  It’s difficult, years ago it used to be about being in a room with Gillian Anderson, Scully from TXF, and how maybe she might catch my eye, or maybe she might smile in my direction, it’s not about that anymore really.  I’ve met her many times, I’ve had actual conversations and photographs with her, in that respect I’ve achieved what I dreamed of!  I don’t go to the stagedoor every time now, she has signed most things I own by now and there are so many fans who have never seen her before that deserve that experience.  So why go? 

I have recordings of Obama’s speeches on my ipod that I have listened to hundreds of times, I have poems that I have read and re-read until I know every line by heart, until they are part of my heart, I have audio books that I can speak a long with and paintings I could stand in front of forever.  Some things inspire me, speak to me, make me believe in the wonder and beauty and connectedness of all life.  Sitting in a theatre watching Gillian perform, is like reading that poem that always makes me feel better, that make’s me feel things are possible.  There are a million people out there like her, who can do what she does and be the sort of person she is, I don’t think she is perfect or untouchable, she is just, to me, an inspiration and an example of dreams lived.  For so long I wanted to see her in real life and I did, for so long after that I wanted to share a moment with her and I got the chance to, I prayed to have a photograph with her and that happened, I wanted to have a conversation with her and then one day I did.  Impossible dreams are possible, she reminds me of that truth and when I get together with all the other people I know who feel the same way, I feel joy and gratitude for all that I have and love and am.

That’s the only way I can explain it really, I know it might not be considered normal, but I think here I should turn to Gillian:

‘When I think of normal, I think of mediocrity… and mediocrity scares the fuck out of me’  - Gillian Anderson!

I don't strive for normality, I strive for happiness, and for the most part I've found it...some of it in unexpected places, but that's life, lets all just live it and find joy in it wherever possible :)

Me!

Sorry this isn't an actual update, I'll do one of those soon.  I have many Washington and New York stories to bore you with!  I did however want to share this video....because it's about the beauty of being a fan.....

Lost amidst the ruins.....

Oh my goodness gracious, it has been a loooong time since I last blogged!  Real life and it's boring practicalities have taken over for a while and I've been a busy little bee during these bleak winter months (it's still winter right?!).

So January and February are always depressing, Christmas is over, New Year passed and all that stretches out ahead are cold months with no money through Xmas overspending and no bank holidays until Easter.  I broke the monotony by attending the Bath Literature Festivalwith Rach which was good fun.  We went to some good talks, had a cute young guy read us his poetry in a taxi, visited the gorgeous spa and stayed in a lovely hotel.  We're planning to go back to Bath sometime soon to complete a course in cupcake decoration!  At the festival I saw a talk by Susie Boyt, who was promoting her book 'My Judy Garland Life' which I just adore.  It is all about how the author's life was impacted by her obsession with Judy Garland and it is full of wonderful passages:

''I have been half or more in love with Judy Garland all my life....and although she died five months after I was born, this has always seemed to me a two-sided affair that has suited us both. I've felt Judy Garland's acute need of me and this prolonged fantasy - you might call it - of intimacy has been both sustaining and exhilarating. It has been a central part of my development as a person. I know for certain that something in the heart of Judy Garland connects directly to something at the heart of me. I feel implicated in her myriad struggles and triumphant in the face of her success....What does it say about this extraordinary performer that I've felt linked to her so powerfully all my life? What does it say about me? Whatever strange alchemy has been at work between us, the facts are these: I wasn't there at the moments of her greatest triumphs and cruellest despair. But she has been at mine.'

I have to say the author herself was not hugely impressive, she was very introverted and solemn.  Rach expected her to be that way because of her book, but I hoped she might disprove the theory that people who fan-worship are quiet, socially inept people!  Guess not!  Maybe I'll have to make it my mission to personally disprove that....though I think I need to change a few character traits first!

Anyway March arrived and with it my birthday.  A group of us went to lunch in London and then to see Sadie Frost's one woman play 'Touched for the Very First Time'...again this was about a woman being obsessed with a celebrity - Madonna this time (are you sensing a theme here?!).  It was really enjoyable, but the theatre was so tiny oftentimes it felt like Sadie was staring right at me! 

With March came the installation date for our new kitchen.  This has been long approaching and postponed for ages, but finally we could hold off the chaos no longer and the kitchen man arrived.  I ran off the first night to see Sugarland (awesome live btw) and stayed at Pete & Emma's place so by the time I got home on the second day the full nightmare was in swing!   The kitchen looked like a bomb site, the living room was piled high with kitchen stuff and obviously there was no cooker!  It was only for a few days and I love the new kitchen (though it still needs to be painted and the floor re-tiled), but I'm glad the installation process is over.  The week after we got double glazing fitted as well, which I'm really glad of for security reasons.  It's quite strange though, the house and my room are eerily silent, like I live in a bubble protected from the elements outside!

Apart from all the home improvements I''ve been to see a few things.  My friend Victoria (a fellow Gillian fan) and I went to see a bizarro version of  'What the Night is For' (a play Gillian was previously in).  It was in a room over a pub, there were about 10 people in the audience and the budget appeared to be little more than the cost of a pint!  It was extremely strange to see a play I knew so well acted  by other people.  The strangest thing of all was that the woman in it made all the same gestures and movements as Gillian did in the original.  There were several moments when Victoria and I just looked at each other like 'WTF?!  She is directly copying Gillian's performance'!!  Stranger than that was when we grabbed the director afterwards and he claimed never to have seen the original!  I won't go into his interpretation of the  play, but believe me when I say it was outlandish, chauvinistic and just plain odd!  It was an interesting evening, enough said!!

I've also been to see a couple of films at the Human Rights film festival, which I highly recommend: 'Pray the Devil Back to Hell' which was about how the women of Liberia forced the men to make peace after years of war and 'My Neighbour, My Killer' a documentary about Rwanda and how people are coping with sharing their communities with the people who committed genocide against them.  Both were very moving and important films.

I'm not quite sure how I have manged to get to this point in my blog without mentioning it, I think I was just saving the best til last, but on Mother's Day, in H Samuel I got to meet Jane Seymour!  Yes, my beloved Dr Quinn was in town!! 

She was very late arriving, but when she did the staff introduced me to her because I'd been waiting so long and she was dead sweet and tiny, so so tiny and fragile looking!  There wasn't anyone else waiting (they had done zero advertising, I only knew myself because a friend who works for H Samuel's head office told me she was going to be there) so the shop assistants pulled out a chair and told me to sit and talk with Jane!!  OMG that freaked me out, what do you say other than 'oh my god, I love you, you're amazing, Dr Quinn is wonderful, do you want to be my best friend forever?'!!! LOL!  As it happens I didn't have to say much because Jane started talking to me about her book (she was supposed to be there signing free copies of her new book for those that bought a piece of her jewelery) and showing me her favorite quotes.  I think something went a bit wrong because the shop assistants start giving away her book to everyone that came in the store (which she didn't seem overly happy about!), but she said I should get a free one because I already had her necklace! hehe! 

So that's it really, I have pictures with Gillian and Jane now, only Dolly to go....now that will be a challenge!  I hope everyone is well and that life is being good to you....bring on the good weather, I've seen a new pair of Birkenstocks I *must* have!!

xxx

Looking Back....

Hi guys, Happy 2009!

Wow, it's been a while! I have been meaning to update for ages but so much was going on that the prospect of blogging about it all seemed to get more and more overwhelming!

Since I last wrote I've been to Los Angeles for an X-Files Charity Screening, to Las Vegas for the National Finals of the Rodeo, to Area 51 chasing Aliens and to Edinburgh for Hogmanay.  In between there was Christmas and all that that entails. In view of this I am not going to go into detail about it all, I'll just focus on the highlights!

LA First!  I'd had the trip to Vegas booked for a while and then about a month before I was due to leave there was an announcement that there was going to be an XF Charity screening in LA on the first day of my trip.  Las Vegas isn't that far (about 4 hours drive!) from LA, so the wheels in my head started turning away!  After wearing my brain out with possible driving/flying/train scenarios, I decided to just extend my holiday and fly into LA and then on to Vegas a day later.  I've been to LA 3 times before and although it's not a place I have any particular fondness for I seem to continually end up there!    I stayed in a really cute little hostel off Hollywood Blvd and finally managed to go on a tour of the Kodak Theatre which I have always missed out on before.  The charity screening was really great fun.  I met another girl from Britain (Irene) and as we'd come so far we got to have a private meeting with Frank Spotnitz (writer, producer and director of the XF).  He is such a lovely, cute little guy. He is sooo tiny though, when he hugged me I thought I was gonna break him in two!

Anyways after our meeting, we all went into the cinema and listened to a presentation by the Neurofibromatosis Foundation (the charity the screening was held for) and watched the XFN tribute to XF fans around the world.  After that came 'Fight the Future', which I hadn't seen in a long time.  It was really great fun to watch it with a cinema full of fans.....with everyone speaking along with a particular hallway scene!  Irene was really impressive though, she knew almost every line of the movie! 

I had to rush off before they showed the latest XF movie cause I had a plane to catch, but it was a great experience and I made some sweet new friends :)

After that was Las Vegas, which was fun as ever.  I took a trip out to Area 51 which was brilliant!  Area 51 is the secret military base where the ships/aliens were supposedly taken after the Roswell crash!  It was all fun and games until we got on the road to the base and a black jeep started following us!  It sat and watched us the whole time we were at the border to the base and you could see surveillance cameras all over the surrounding hills!  I blatantly disregarded their rules on photography so there is probably a file on me somewhere now!! 



Shortly after Vegas, Christmas rolled around and then New Year.  Christmas was lovely and relaxing and I got so many great gifts.  I spent New Year in Edinburgh at their street party and despite the sub zero temperatures (I didn't really get a chance to wear any of those glitzy tops I took with me...they don't really work with long thermal underwear!) it was great fun!  I love Edinburgh at any time of the year but at New Year it was all lit up and full of energy and life!  I also got to meet up with Claire, who I met traveling in Canada earlier in the year and it was great to catch up.

So I guess that's it really, a condensed report on the last couple of the months.  Somehow it doesn't seem significant enough of a post though to mark the end of one year and the beginning of the next.

Shortly before Christmas I went down to see the Tree in Trafalgar Square and I remembered doing the exact same thing last year and I guess superficially not much has changed during that period, but last year I remember looking at that tree feeling lost.  I had recently started a new job which I wasn't really enjoying and the daily commute left me feeling tired and drained.  I had no clue what the year held and all I could be was hopeful.  This year I met my parents at the square and while I was taking pictures I flashed back to last year and realised how grateful I should be for just this easy contentment, for the fact that not much had changed, but I had.  I like my job now, I am used to the commute and although I would like longer evenings I enjoy the time to myself, it is almost an enforced period of relaxation - reading a book, listening to music as the train rocks along.  Last year I had no clue what 2008 would bring.  I had no clue I would travel to San Franciso two months later, that I would climb mountains in Canada, attend a movie premiere, have a conversation with Gillian Anderson, see Dolly live 3 times and cry through 'Coat of Many Colours' 3 times! That I would visit Vancouver and cross the highest suspension bridge in the world.  That I would have a conversation with a friend at 1am by Niagra Falls lit in the moonlight, that I would attend a 3 day Country Music Festival, sing Auld Lang Syne with friends in Edinburgh as the most amazing fireworks I have ever seen blasted overhead.  That I would lose my Grandfather, that I would resign from my job, only to return and appreciate it on a level I never had before.  That I would make good friends at work, that I would relabel the whole stationary cupboard in pink and nobody would mind, that I would sit round a campfire late at night in the mountains on edge for fear of bears, that I would like a boy and a different boy would like me...that I would get a new tattoo to mark one of the best times of my life....that I would at many many times feel simply happy, what more can you ask of a year? Here's to 2009 and all that lies ahead....

xx

Art & Religion....

Hey y'all!

It's been a while and I've been pottering about, watching summer turn into winter, swapping my birkenstocks for winter boots and appreciating London in all it's dark beauty.  Talking about that, I have purchased my first bit of serious art and it just happens to be a painting of London!  I have loved Neil Dawson's work for a few years now, but his pieces are so hard to come by and not cheap!  I was prepared this time though, I signed up for a first look at his work before his latest collection was released and I checked into installment plans!  So here it is 'Late Night London' by Neil Dawson

Here are some unpacking pictures, I never saw so much polystirene! 

I love it, it's gorgeous! I have to say the woman serving me in the gallery though was the most insincerely nice person you ever met!  When I had decided which picture I wanted, she left me in a room with my picture to 'just sit with' it!  Um hello - it's gonna be in my living room for many years, I don't really need to sit here with it for half an hour while you force me to drink champagne and make odd comments like 'I think it's such an unobtrusive piece' and 'the picture will find it's own place in your home, don't force the relationship'! WTF?!!  The funniest thing was when I was looking at the different pieces and deciding which one to get.  She hung up a long, thin painting on the wall.  'No, not this one'  I said 'Oh really?' says gallery woman 'help me understand, lets talk through what doesn't connect with you in this piece, then I can begin to understand the type of art that touches you' ...'Um...it's too long to fit on my wall' says I!!! 'Oh OK, I can see that is a consideration' she says - I don't think I was her usual buyer!!

I also went on a little trip to Rome and Assisi this month.  I have been to Rome before, it is a beautiful city and I wanted to show it to my mum.  We went to the usual tourist places...and some not so usual ones, including a church where all the decorations were made out of human bones!  We also made a trip out to Assisi, which is a place I have wanted to visit for a while now.  It is the home town of Saint Francis of Assisi and it where his Basicilca is and his tomb.  St Francis was a saint I admire.  At a time of conflict and fear he preached only love, compassion and non judgement.  While other preachers tried to keep the masses in line through tales of hellfire and damnation, Francis refused to damn anyone and spoke only of God's love and unending forgiveness.  He was the first Catholic 'official' to open a dialogue with Muslims and to encourage tolerence of other beliefs.  His message was that love of another was love of God and  that what one does to another human being one also does to God, so kindness should be practiced in all circumstances.

Assisi is also the place where St Claire set up her first convent for the Poor Claire Nuns.  For reasons unknown I have had a fascination with nuns since I was a child.  Recently I discovered online that lots of other people love nuns as well....but not in the same way as me!! Lets not go there!!

I guess looking at my photographs from the trip, it looks like a very religious holiday, which is strange when I don't consider myself a religious person.  I have a deep interest in religion, in spirituality, in different paths to happiness and I think perhaps just because I have grown up in a Christian society I find a light and a peace in traditional Christian imagery and churches. I tend to reject any faith or set of beliefs that come from a place of fear.  I don't understand how the Catholic church (and many other faiths) can teach that God is love and also teach that he is vengeful, that he is jealous and that he will inflict pain on people who do not make the 'right' choices.  If God is love, then surely God is forgiving, compassionate, tender and undemanding? For ideally, shouldn't love be all these things? So always, when I admire religious art and places of religious significance,  I am torn between being attracted to their majesty and beauty and disagreeing fundamentally with the faith they represent.  St Francis wanted to be buried in barren land as a sign that he needed nothing of material value to be connected with God...so they built a huge Basilica in his name and placed his body in a giant tomb surrounded by art and wealth.  In religion all that surrounds me are contradictions..........

Prayer of St Francis

Lord, make me an instrument of Thy peace;

where there is hatred, let me sow love;

where there is injury, pardon;

where there is doubt, faith;

where there is despair, hope;

where there is darkness, light;

and where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master,

grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;

to be understood, as to understand;

to be loved, as to love;

for it is in giving that we receive,

it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,

and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.

Amen.

A Doll's House

Because I am a 'friend' of the theatre, I received some info from the Donmar about the play.  Feel free to re-post but please credit me or link to my blog.  Thanks :)

 

 

Piercings & Premieres!

Hello all!

Its been while, I know, apologies....not that I imagine you spend too much time hankering after my next blog post!

Since I last posted, I've pottered about, stuck needles through parts of my body and attended a movie premiere....so nothing new really!

I've been thinking about getting my tragus pierced for a while.  I should immediately point out that the tragus is a part of the ear!  I am not an adventurous person in the piercing stakes, nor am I about to jump head first into the body modification community!  I just saw someone else with a cute little jewel in their ear and thought ooo that would so suit me!!!  So, finally, a few weeks ago I took myself off to Selfridges to have my ear impaled!  Selfridges is not really a place to go if you want some piercing credibility!  I imagine you should go to some dark, unwelcoming basement where a heavily tattooed Michelin man pokes holes through you, but I wanted clean shiny equipment  and as little pain as possible so Selfridges it was (I'm not sure how going to Selfridges was supposed to help with the pain, but somehow I have convinced myself that the more I pay for something, the better it will be, therefore crazy Selfridges prices = less pain!!).

It actually wasn't that bad.  The lady did it very quickly and the crunching in my ear hole when the needle went through was more disconcerting than the pain!  The Labret (that's the name of the piercing jewelery.  I have since learned that the world of body piercing jewelery is unbelievably complicated with multitudes of piercing sizes, bar lengths, circumference measurements and threading options!) has a little pink ball on it, which you can't see in the pic.  I can't wait to change the jewelery though, I've already ordered a little pink flower and a butterfly....and I'm seriously considering getting the other side done as well.  The only serious drawback was the inability to wear headphones for several days!  I had read you shouldn't wear them for like 6 weeks, but no way was I going to be able survive that long!  After about 4 days the pain subsided a bit and I forced my headphones back in...probably not the most sensible thing to do, but it's healing fine and a lack of headphones is far more distressing than a bit of throbbing ear pain!!

Another event of the past month was the premiere of 'How to Lose Friends and Alienate People'  - Gillian's new film!  I and several other fans made a concerted effort to try and win tickets to the premiere, entering about 15 online competitions and listening to Capital Radio for 2 days non-stop for the 'signal' to call in and win.  All I ended up with was a continuous engaged tone and lots more spam e-mail!  I did however learn a bit more about modern music, as I never listen to the radio ordinarily.  I hereby pronounce that chart music isn't all bad!  However they wouldn't stop playing some song about kissing a girl and the song from the DFS advert, which I had previously assumed was written for the commercial and therefore a song primarily about sofas!

  So, ticket-less, I decided to go and watch the red carpet instead.  It was an interesting experience.  I left work early and got there about 3pm.  I found a place right at the front by the barrier and staked my claim.  To begin with it was fine, but as more and more people arrived, I had less and less room and by the time the stars started arriving 3 hours later I was struggling to breathe, I had crushed the contents of my handbag against the barrier and some guy was shoving his pelvis in my back!  It was interesting to watch the whole thing get set up, the red carpet getting laid and the tv presenters practicing walking and talking over and over again (a skill which seemed to continually allude them!). 

There weren't too many stars there really, Simon Pegg, my beloved Gillian, Kirsty Alsop and lots of people I recognised but couldn't put a name too.  There were also plenty of people nobody recognised but who seemed to feel themselves worthy of attention simply because they could flick their hair and pout!  Gillian waddled along the carpet (she is very heavily pregnant, I'm not being cruel!) and seemed tired but in good spirits.  I got some nice photos and met up with some other fans and it was a fun evening.  I can't say I would do it again though, I think I'd have to be an official attendee before going to another premiere, there is so much standing around, pushing, elbowing and general selfishness amongst the crowd, it stops being fun. Full pics can be found here

 

So that's it really, not much new news.  I'm off to Cornwall in a few days and then I've booked a cheapo trip to Rome at the beginning of November.  I am going to try and travel to Assisi from Rome, as it has always interested me, but more on that nearer the time!

Best wishes to you and yours.....

xx

Finding home....

Hmm so no posting in a while, not been much of substance to post really!  I’ve just been generally ticking along quite happily!  It is strange that when I am happy I have far less to write!!  I guess that’s why most great literature is fairly miserable….not that I am claiming my blog is great literature….good maybe, not great, one must always have something to aspire to!!

So, since I last wrote I got myself a new tattoo.  Yes, an X-Files tattoo!  This is the first tat I’ve got where I decided myself that I was going to get it and went by myself to get it!  Even though I’m 28, I think living with my parents makes me feel like I need to get their approval for everything.  I mean there is stuff I need their approval for – is it OK if I re-paint the bathroom pink? Would you be OK with me knocking down that load-bearing wall?! But,in general, it is my life, my choices, my mistakes etc.  Knowing that, and trying to live that way, are 2 different things, but it was definitely part of the reason behind the decision….not to get a tattoo, but to just do it, without worrying about their disapproval, because I knew I wanted it and I knew what it meant to me, even if they wouldn’t understand.  I caved pretty quickly afterwards and showed it to my mum, but by that time what was done was done!

 

My parents are moving away to Cornwall for a trial period of 6 months, come the new year, so I am slowly adjusting myself to life as an independent person.  Part of me thinks it can’t come quick enough and part of me is scared of being responsible for a house, and bills, and my own life!  I think the desire for my own space, my own identity though is now much stronger than the fear…that’s how I know it’s right…how anything is right.  Independence doesn’t mean I want my parents gone.  If they could just move to the next street along, that would be just fine….but it seems they are moving a lot further than that....we all have to go our own way.

 

On a less deep and meaningful note, I went to Bath for the weekend with Rach which was just lovely.  Oh my gosh, they have a gorgeous spa…beyond gorgeous, you’ve got to go!  Also Amanda has now begun her trip across the wild blue yonder, so that was sad, to say goodbye until next year, but wow what an amazing journey to be beginning.  It is strange though, for perhaps the first time when a friend was going traveling, I didn’t wish I was going with her, or starting the journey myself.  Maybe it is because I haven’t been back from Canada long, or maybe it’s my knowledge of what traveling does to my bank balance, or maybe, just maybe, home is where I want to be right now. 

 

Rambling only XF movie fans will understand:  Perhaps I am thinking about home, because Scully won’t stop bl*ody saying it!!

 

Scully:  ‘Mulder, we come home at night, to a home now.  I don’t want that darkness in my home’ 

 

OMG woman, stop saying home!  Having seen the movie 11 times, I think my brain is fixated with the word!!

Looking for a overarching theme!

Hi again

I am aware that I now so far behind in writing my blog that I don't want to even begin writing! I had so many great times in July that I should write individual blogs about each of them, but I also have a desire to catch up on myself.  So this entry will attempt to cover everything!  Therefore please be forewarned that it will be long, mixed up and rambling!

So yes, in short, Canada was beautiful!  My photographs look like someone else took them - they look professional, not because I am any good at taking photographs, but just because you cannot screw up taking photographs of the Canadian landscape - it looks stunning and picture perfect, no matter what angle you photograph it from! 

 We left Banff and went out into the mountains, staying in 'rustic' hostels with no showers and posters everywhere about what to do in the event of a bear attack (you must try and assess whether the bear is aggressive or just territorial apparently - simple hey?!).  We trekked and we trekked, in all weathers and we climbed and climbed and climbed....up actual mountains...BIG mountains!  They were to me anyway!  No showers + days spent climbing and sweating =very grubby tour group!  We eventually returned to civilization and spent some more time in Vancouver, where a dodgy bloke with a grey van took me on a personal tour of the X-Files sites, where we walked across a scary suspension bridge, where we saw a beautiful film about Blind Tibetan children and where on the final night we walked down to the harbor and watched the international fireworks competition across the bay.

  I left my Mum in Vancouver airport as she flew home and I went on to Toronto to meet Kelly!  Kelly and I have known each other and shared our X-Files obsession for nearly 10 years and it was  wonderful  to catch up again!  I always worry that when I haven't seen someone in a long time  that it might be difficult to recapture the relationship, but we got along great....I don't think we stopped yabbering for 4 days straight....well except during the X-Files movie!

I would love to tell you all about Toronto, about the city and it's sights, but to be honest all I saw was Niagara Falls, Wallmart and a variety of cinemas!  And I wouldn't have it any other way!  We also saw the movie at a drive-in, which was so cool, I felt like I was in Happy Days!! hehe!  I won't go on about what I thought of the movie, as I might do a separate post about that soon, but suffice to say I loved it!  We saw it  4 times in Canada in 3 days!  All too soon it was time for me to leave and I flew back home to attend the premiere!

  There is already a detailed description of what happened at the premiere below, so I won't write more, but it was everything I dreamed it would be and more.  The days afterwards in London, were great as well, meeting all the other fans and just generally obsessing together!  It was probably the best month of my life!  I have had other moments that singularly meant more or are more significant, but in the case of general fun and enjoyment, it was the best!  I'm grateful for every moment!

I was thinking back to when I saw the original X-Files movie 10 years ago, on the day of my A-Level results, about everything that's changed and everything that hasn't and what stuck out to me most was the friendships and how they've shaped events.  I went to see the last X-Files movie with my Dad, Sandra and Rachel.  Rachel, who i'd known then for 11 years, I've now known 21.  I appreciate that I am blessed to have a friend who has known me through every significant moment of my life.  To whom things don't need to be explained. Pete,who I had known then for 2 years, I have now known 12!  He is like a brother to me and I can't imagine that there was a time we weren't friends.  I wouldn't meet Amanda for a further 4 years, but our conversations and general gossiping got me through 6 years of office work and took me to China! And Sandra ...Sandra, we lost....I remember going to see the X-Files movie with her and I remember being shocked when she swore when the bee bit Scully (preventing her from kissing Mulder!) and we looked at each other and giggled!  Bless her!

So ultimately, I guess, here's to friends - new friends you meet, like Claire, who helped me climb mountains in Canada, old old friends, like Rachel who have known everything you've ever been, good bad and in-between, friends who are like family, friends who share a passion with you and understand things that other people never can, friends that you travel thousands of miles to see, friends that are part of your life everyday and friends that you will never see again.....if anything made the last month of my life so much fun it was them, so I officially take this moment to be grateful and thankful.....and hopeful about all the adventures that lie ahead....

(There are pics here of everything if you have a lot of spare time of your hands!)